It's Not About The Blue Fire

People coming here to see the Blue Fire, they said that is the best part of Ijen Crater. The Blue Fire was formed by the sulphuric gas and the high temperature, if you can reach the top of the mountain around 1-2 a.m you’re definitly could see it. Unfortunately, when I came here with my friends we took a long time to warmed our body down before started to hike. We reached the top at 5 a.m lol. 

But, no I don’t regret it because it was one of the most meaningful trip for me so far. When I saw a lot of old man carried a sulfur laden basket by hand going up from the crater floor and down back, they also sustain the weight on their shoulder. If we look closely over their shoulders, there are indentations due to the woods used to connected the baskets which always glued to their shoulders to carried them. They earn a lot but it such a dangerous work. 

While looked at their tired face and tanned skin, I suddenly remember my father. I don’t know how but because maybe eventhough my father didn’t do exactly like them but his job made his skin tanned too and he sweat a lot because he has too work outdoor, under the sun everyday like them.  It made me grateful and appreciated my father more. I was never ashamed about his job and never hide it from my friends. I am proud of him.

This is random tbh, I did this trip a long time ago but tonight, suddenly my mind fly away to my father and I reminisced about this trip. Just a little story but maybe you have this kind of stories too? Like, a certain moment or places you didn't expect before because it has nothing to do with them (it doesn't carried that someone scents, you never visited that before with them, etc) but it makes you think of someone suddenly? I would like to hear your stories too.

Have a good night :)

(Location: Ijen Crater, Banyuwangi, Indonesia.)

Malam-malam Biasa

Awan menggantung di atas kepala

yang menindih kasurku dengan lemah

Kepala yang hanya akan jadi gila

Sebab pada tiap malam yang biasa

Awan itu menghujankan berjuta-juta apabila

Kukatakan bahwa ini adalah malam yang biasa

Seperti kemarin dan kemarinnya lagi

Pagi tak kunjung bersedia menanak mimpi

Yang matangnya kelak berupa satu dering telepon dari bawah bantal,

dapat pula sebuah amplop dalam kotak surat dua dimensi.

Entah berapa napas panjang lagi akan kuhela sembari menanti

Letih

Penuh harap yang timbul tenggelam di antara ketakutan

Jika nanti hidup kehilangan percikannya

dan aku akan terus melewati malam-malam biasa

tanpa suatu apapun yang mekar berhujan apabila.

The End (?) of Supernova

Hello guys. Today I just finish read Inteligensi Embun Pagi. It was insane! Dee Lestari is definitly not a human. She came from another dimension, period.

I already write this little review on Twitter, but let me put this too on my blog because it’s a waste to let my emotions to this amazing book drown and disapeared by another tweets. This is lowkey spoiler-safe so don’t worry if you haven’t read IEP.

Dee managed to create her own universe in this book 6 that all related from book 1 to 5. All of the characters mysteries were solved. The most special about this book is that we were given a room to question many things as we get answers to our questions at the same time. Infiltran, Peretas, Umbra & Sarvara. We will be familiar with the four words above in this book. Who are they? Infiltran is a keeper for Peretas to be safe from the reach of the Sarvara. Peretas are all those 6 characters who will be met here in this book (I can believe they’re all actually met!)

Who actually Gio is? What happen to Bodhi when he met Elektra? How Ferre, Dimas and Ruben related to another Peretas in their group? That's a few questions in my head before. Anyway, remember Kell in book 5? He returned! And I almost suspected that he's one of the Sarvara. I was wrong. Instead he became one of my favorite Infiltran, lol. Crazy guy! We will also know who actually Isthar is. She's the same women who Alfa crazily in love with and also who Bodhi met in Bangkok, named Star. Turns out her role is quite important.

Full of plot twists! The part where the character was a protagonist in the previous book will give you surprises here. Trio Sarvara ugh I want to fight them! But the most powerful among all of these Peretas is Bodhi, the traveler who wants to discover his true identity, he's the Peretas Kisi. Alfa and Gio? These two are the most charming and maybe many readers falling in love with them. They're handsome and suprisingly strong.

I wasn’t there when the hype of this book was high and Twitter had a #TeamAlfa #TeamBodhi #TeamZarah #TeamElektra #TeamGio hashtag party. But if you ask me, I'm definitly #TeamElektra, an orphan girl who has a miserable yet funny life. Her body can conduct electricity. That's her skill lol. In this book she's managed to make readers upset because SHE. BURN. ASKO! Also how weak her character compared to the other Supernovas. Her clumsyness increased to the max, adorable! But who would've thought she's the key of the Peretas' victory in the battle against Sarvara.

Supernova made me delusional. I once dream about hanging out in Asko. Also, I think among us there are Infiltran, Peretas and Sarvara. But each of us wrapped with the name of the human body and skin. Isn't it interesting? Thank you Dee Lestari, our Ibu Suri, for this amazing story. 6 books, 15 years. Such an amazing journey with Supernova. Genius storyline and each characters gave unforgetable memories to us, the readers. Is this the end of Supernova? Well... Let's see.

p.s: My favorite part, Kell reunited with Bodhi. I can't with these two, lol.

Hello 2017

Hello, it’s me. It’s been a long time. Honestly, I don’t know what to write here, I don’t know what to tell, hell I don’t even know what’s going on with my life lol kidding, I just can’t catch them all even with just writing in my diary. Anyway start from now, I’ve decided to write here mostly in English. Except if I want to post a poem or else which will more beautifully writen and told in Bahasa. I feel like when I write in English, I could express my thoughts more freely rather than in Bahasa (I didn’t direspect my national language btw). Hopefully I could be more honest to express my feelings start from now.

It’s too late to write a year end/welcoming note, but it’s better late than never, right? I moved back to my house after graduation last month, so I spent new year eve with my parents and my sister. It was such a warm and happy moment in my life, ever. Because we rarely spent quality time together since I went to college in Malang. So I could say that 2017 was started well. Let’s see. 2016 for me so far, I graduated from college, finally! I could reach my target to graduate in 4 years, now here I am, Febiola Aditya Yusuf, S.I.Kom. My 2016 was like hell because of skripsi. I won’t tell how hard it was, because yeah it was TOTALLY hard. But I’ve spent a great time once I did my research and met a lot of new people because it was about entertainment education in non-formal school. It called Sekolah Kita Rumpin (SKR) in Desa Sukamulya, Kecamatan Rumpin, Kabupaten Bogor. I’ve known SKR in 2013 when I did a blogwalking. SKR catched my attention back then because its background of how it formed. In 2007, there was a land dispute conflict between the residents of Rumpin and TNI AU Atang Sendjaya. This conflict is still going on until now in a cold way, because they haven’t found a deal who’s the owner of the land. This conflict indirectly affect the feasibility of shelter and psychological condition of the residents, especially the children. Thus in 2012 SKR established by Ana Agustina, Rara Sekar (Banda Neira) and Bu Neneng one of the residents there. So that the children had a pleasant learning in addition to formal school every Sunday. I am amazed by the voluteers (all of 'kakak-kakak pengajar') who are willing to take their time every Sunday at 10 am going through a hard journey to Rumpin. Mbak Ana was very nice to me, I met Mbak Hanna too as she’s the head of SKR now, she’s super duper kind and loud haha. The other voluteers are very nice to me too. Importantly, the children. They’re so passionate, smart and funny, Just in 2 days, I got close with one of them, Eha, she’s so sweet and pretty. She’s in her 2nd grade of high school now, we exchanged our number so she can 'curhat' to me anytime hahaha.

The struggle to reached SKR.

But it's worth it.

In 2016, during my skripsi process I’ve lost a lot of weight (I almost only eat once a day), ‘what is sleep?’, and stressed a lot. But, I’ve found something else which made me happy and being my stress reliever during the depressing times. Just like everyone, I enjoy listening music A LOT. I would die if I don’t listen to a song for a day, seriously. I listen to various genre and artist. One day, I don’t remember exactly but it was between February-March 2016, I’ve found Winner. They’re a kpop group consisted of 5 members. I fall in love with their music and personalities, their stories and hardwork to achieve their dreams, their sincerity, and their meaningful lyrics. I guess you think a kpop group is where a bunch of plastic faced boys/girls dancing and lypsinc to a generic and typical song? (Well, I used to think like this, I regret lol) Nope, Winner is not that kind of groups. Their music heals me last year. When I was down and had a hard time, I played their songs & videos, watch their interviews & reality shows, also I escaped to twitter and meet Inner Circle (Winner’s fandom name).

There is one member, his name is Nam Taehyun, idk but when I saw him for the first time in one of their video, I know I’m going to love him so much. Here I could say that Emily Brontë’s words matched my feelings towards him so well:

“He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 

He’s not handsome but his aura is out of this world, he's cool and has a very deep thoughts about life, his mind likes to wander and lost in a beautiful way, he can play a lot of instruments, his voice is soothing and pleased everyone ears, he’s a genius music producer and lyricist, he loves art, he can paint, he introduced his fans to a lot of new things like movies, musics, art, etc. And there are still many things he can do. Sadly, he left Winner in 25 November 2016 because he’s suffering from mental illness. My heart broke that time. I want to say a lot about him and Winner so I will make several posts separatedly about them later.

I can tell that my 2016 was saved because of Winner, this group made me feel a rollercoaster of emotion, believe me, stanning them is so hard but making me happy at the same time. I also met and being friends with a lot of beautiful and super kind people around the world because of Winner. I improved my writing ability in English because I talked with them in English most of the time. I learn a lot about diversity, humanity, culture, new interests and much more last year. Liking a kpop groups is not all about fangirling about their faces. Especially from Winner, I got more than that.

Hmmm, what else? Resolutions. I don’t have a certain list for it. This year, I simply want to get a job. A job that I really love doing it, so I won’t feel a burden when I wake up everyday. A job that could make my parents proud and the salary is enough to at least covered my needs and my sister’s school needs. I want to live my life to the fullest, doing what makes me happy and keep convincing myself that it’s okay not to pleased everyone. Last but not least, I wish I’ll meet my other half. This is just like a side wish actually, it’s okay if this one couldn’t happen this year. That’s it.

2017, please, please, please, be nice for me. Okay?

Happy (late) New Year, everyone!

January 16th, 2017